Guy Reams (00:00.194)
Okay, today is day two eleven. My thoughts on criticism and also my ten tips on feedback. So, over the years, when I first, when I was younger, if I got some criticism, it would have a massive impact on me. It would send me into a tailspin. If I got some negative criticism, I would spend days going over my head.
what that meant and how I could have done better. The thought that somebody would have a negative view of me was just overwhelming. But I've learned as I've gotten older that there really is no voice of criticism that is louder than the one in my own head. There just will never be a critic worse than myself. My own internal voice screams at me basically all day long.
And I've actually learned to appreciate when somebody cares enough to criticize me because their criticism gives me a bit of relief actually because they may have only caught one or two things from the voice in my head, caught like 50 things who were off. So it's actually a relief. Oh wow, they only got that one thing. But I think...
Put it in that all aside, I think embracing feedback for personal growth, for self -improvement of personal growth is absolutely critical. We need to learn to welcome feedback on a regular basis, and this is probably something we as parents don't really teach our kids very well. Inadvertently, I don't think my parents taught me very well, and I probably haven't taught my kids very well, because I give them criticism all the time.
but I don't teach them how to receive it and how to process it. And that's something that I lacked growing up, and it's really nobody's fault. I don't think anybody really thinks about this at that level. So I think it's important to embrace feedback for personal growth, but because we're so naturally hesitant to receive feedback, we tend to not want feedback on our business lives either.
Guy Reams (02:15.97)
So our companies are not set up to accept feedback. And that's even worse because companies are not really a person. They're an entity comprised of people. So feedback, good or bad, constructive or hostile, is usually the most rapid way to make improvement. So there is a massive danger of creating criticism both in your personal and professional life.
If you're hiding in your bubble, staying guarded and excluded away, shielded from criticism, that is not a recipe for improvement. We should invite and ask for feedback frequently. And then when we actually get it, deal with it in a positive manner. Process it, deal with it, and then reply to it. There's probably, I wrote down on my blog today, 10 things that we can do.
to train ourselves to accept feedback. I'll just quickly run through them. The first is to shift your mindset. You should view feedback and criticism as an opportunity for growth, not a personal attack. Second, it's important to listen fully and listen to the point of understanding. We shouldn't immediately react to feedback. Knee -jerk gut reactions to feedback are never good.
We should listen fully to the feedback and make sure we actually understand it before we apply. Second, it's important to do inquiry. We should ask clarifying questions because sometimes we may not truly understand why the feedback is being given. If we ask more clarifying questions, we'll learn that maybe we misunderstood and maybe our own perceptions were clouding the feedback. So asking clarifying questions is important.
Next is to separate your emotion from information. We're all going to have an emotional reaction to feedback. That's just natural. But we should instead treat the feedback like information. I'm getting some data that can be valuable to me, so I'm going to process and catalog that data rather than dealing with it on an emotional level. We should also spend time reflecting on feedback before we reply.
Guy Reams (04:31.65)
consider the feedback carefully. People don't provide feedback very often. You very rarely get feedback, which is sad, but it's a rare thing. Out of a thousand people that listen to you or talk to you or apply to you or work on your team, one of them will provide feedback. And so when you do actually get that feedback, no matter how silly it seems, you should reflect on it because it's important.
Finally, I think you should have a response plan. Getting feedback is one thing, but responding to the feedback and addressing it is even more important. So you're not going to get more feedback unless you respond to it correctly or in a good way. And people will stop giving you feedback if they don't see improvement or change in you. The more they see their feedback is helping you improve, the more they'll want to give.
And so you will create this very mutual beneficial relationship. I think this works very good in a relationship. Like in my marriage, my wife has learned to give me lots of feedback. And when I was first married, I hated it. But I did, I did decide very early on to internalize that feedback and do my best to respond to it in a positive way. And as I've done so, I've noticed that my wife is...
is not that reluctant to give me feedback. Now, that may sound kind of funny, but in reality, it's actually benefited me in a major way because I have another person that's able to give me feedback so I can understand what's working and what's not working. So I think you should seek regular feedback. I think you should thank those who offer feedback. And then you should practice giving feedback yourself in a constructive way. If you want people to give you feedback,
then you should learn to give others feedback. And so I think we can create a feedback loop in such a manner. So those are 10 tips. Now, I have to admit that I'm very reluctant to get feedback. I'm always scared. I'm scared to get it because I don't want to confirm the voice in my head and prove that I'm right. But honestly, the truth is better than nothing, right? Having the truth can help you, you know, turn a bad situation into good.
Guy Reams (06:57.698)
can help you become a better person and it can help you improve your business process. I mean without feedback you're most assuredly going to fail. And so with that I will say goodbye.