Day 241 - Mimicry is Hard to Avoid

June 06, 2024

We all subconsciously mimic the people and things around us. This "mimicry" reflects our true personality and can be seen in various aspects of life, from chess games to leadership styles. Key Ideas: Chess as a Personality Test: Guy Reams argues that the way someone plays chess reflects their personality traits. He uses his own playing style as an example, highlighting impulsiveness and tactical thinking. Mimicry in Leadership: Leaders' personalities influence their organizations. A kind leader fosters a kind work environment, while a ruthless leader breeds similar behavior. Mimicry in Relationships: People tend to mimic each other's behaviors, both good and bad, especially in close relationships. Actionable Takeaways: Self-Awareness is Key: By understanding your strengths and weaknesses, you can be more mindful of how you interact with others. Communication is Crucial: Open communication with those around you helps manage expectations and prevent negative mimicry. Be Deliberate: If you want to see a change in the way you interact with the world, you need to consciously change your own behavior.

Episode Transcript

Guy Reams (00:01.678)
This is day 241, mimicry is hard to avoid. So your personality is hard to avoid. You cannot really hide who you are. Despite your best efforts, the things, the people, and the organizations you engage with, to some extent mimic back to you who you are. It is not an exact mirror reflection, but it tends to be so close that it's painfully obvious to outsiders.

You'll see people getting all sorts of negative responses when what is really going on is just simple mimicry. What goes around comes around is the topical saying that I heard a lot when I was younger. To illustrate this point, I'd like to use a few examples. The first is the game of chess. I think the game of chess is one of the best reflections of a person's personality. A mirror image of their temperament.

the way they handle conflict and how they approach difficult decision making. Are they impulsive? Do they take risks? Are those risks measured and calculated? Or are they rather impulsive? Are they most concerned with defending their space or grabbing new space? Do they prefer to think strategically or tactically? All of these questions can be answered about a person in the domain of the 64 squares.

Assuming that you know how to play at chess at a moderately competitive level, you can start to see patterns in chess play that will mimic the same patterns in your own life. I tend to be a little impulsive, especially when restricted. I am willing to take risks but will over -calculate when in completely new -kept territory. I rely on my intuition and sometimes do not realize that the patterns I am seeing are not the same as they were in different scenarios.

Above all, I am 100 % tactical in all the way I approach problems. So the game of chess is really just a personality test and you cannot hide this. Your personality traits will come out in your gameplay. Some grandmasters have had almost every game of theirs analyzed, processed, reviewed, and criticized through their entire lifetime. When you read their biographies, it's amazing how closely their personalities match their play.

Guy Reams (02:20.109)
In some sad situations, their chess play has deteriorated in the same fashion that their personal lives did. Chess really does mimic life. It's easy to see this with a game, but harder to understand in other things. However, mimicry is hard to avoid in every scenario of life. Things just bounce back, whether you like it or not. The area I've seen this the most is with leaders in an organization. The organizations will eventually take on the characteristics of a leader.

This is unavoidable, and it just happens over time. If you, the leader, are a nice, kind -hearted soul, but have difficulty with being aggressive, then the company will behave that way. If you are a mean -spirited, greedy person who will win at all costs, then your people will begin to behave the way that you do. Your weaknesses will become magnified, and so will your strengths. Mimicry also happens in relationships. As I've gotten older, I've seen this with my own family.

We tend to mimic each other's behaviors, good or bad. It just seems to be unavoidable. We humans reflect each other's behavior if we're around each other a lot. Mimicry is something we learn as we're children, and we just do not abandon that skill. Rather, we get better at it. So what does this lead me to conclude? First, you cannot hide who you are. Everyone and everything around you will reflect it. You may think you can be clever about concealing who you are deep down inside,

or try to fool people as to what your intent really is, this is just not possible. Deciding people will reflect right back at you the way that you really are. So if you want to know who you are, just take a good look around you. That will tell you. Second, I think it's important to realize our strengths and weaknesses so that we do not set up expectations that we can have other people overcome our gaps without bringing them in on the problem. If you do not let people know, then over time,

They will reflect your weaknesses back because that is what they think you want. Ultimately, mimicry will work to reflect back what is received. If you want anything different, then you need to be deliberate in your intent. Thank you.