Guy Reams (00:01.218)
This is Day 168, The Feeling of Loneliness. Yesterday I had the notion that understanding the emotion of loneliness and its root causes would be beneficial. I often hear people say, I feel lonely, and it occurred to me that I didn't fully grasp what this emotion actually meant. First of all, loneliness is an emotional experience. The emotion is far more complex than the simple word implies.
One might think that if someone feels lonely, we should just invite them into more conversation. But loneliness is more than just being alone. Profound sense of separation and disconnection. Even when surrounded by people. Some of the most flamboyant life of the party individuals can also be the ones suffering the most from this emotion. A CEO or other executive might go to bed at night battling this feeling of complete separation.
experiencing misery and discouragement at what should be the happiest pinnacle moments of their career. All because of loneliness. So what exactly is the emotion of loneliness? I think there are four major pillars we can walk through them. First, feeling disconnected, a sense of emotional or social separation from others. Second, isolation, the perception that meaningful relationships are lacking even in the presence of others. Third, unfulfilled social needs.
experiencing a gap between the relationship one has and the ones you desire. 4. Sadness or emptiness, often accompanied by feelings of sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, all those types of feelings. One crucial truth about loneliness is that this emotion isn't easily resolved. Typically, when someone expresses this emotion, others immediately offer advice such as, well, you should just… this approach doesn't help.
because the advice offered likely contributes directly to one of these four areas. Loneliness is subjective and deeply connected to an individual's goals, their aspirations, and their own sense of fulfillment. One reason it occurs is due to repeated disappointment. Experiencing one setback after another can eventually lead to a profound feeling of disconnection. In addition to repeated failure, loneliness can be triggered by other causal factors.
Guy Reams (02:17.304)
People naturally crave intimacy and acceptance from others. If you lack this type of emotional connection, you may begin to slide into loneliness. In my life, I've noticed this happening when I'm constantly in a position of pretending to be something that I am not. This isn't inherently bad. Often you need to push your boundaries and aim higher. However, continuously maintaining a facade without having anyone to confide in can cause feelings of disconnection.
Recently I read a study exploring why social media influencers often experience disorders like depression and isolation, which can lead to unhealthy behaviors. While internal wiring or a family history of mental illness might play a role, another significant factor is constantly striving to uphold an image that isn't entirely authentic. This creates disconnection, leading to social isolation.
Big superstar influencers often engage in artificial interactions with hundreds of people without forming any genuine emotional connection. Loneliness can also stem from other things like major life transitions. Changing a job, experiencing a family death, going through a divorce or a breakup, or even relocating to another town can create feelings of separation.
Sometimes loneliness is obvious sources and can be easily resolved. However, more often than not, the emotion is deeper and its root cause can be challenging to identify. It is important to understand that you are not alone if you feel this way. Loneliness isn't reserved for older individuals living alone, as it is commonly believed. It can affect anyone, young or old, rich or poor. Loneliness can lead to serious physical and mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, poor sleep, chronic fatigue,
and also increased risk for things like heart disease and early onset dementia. One of the most destructive outcomes is seeking solace through substance abuse or risky behavior. But there is hope. Once you recognize loneliness for what it is, you can actively work to address it. You can seek out and try to build meaningful relationships with others. Be deliberate about it. Look for people who understand your experiences. Sometimes you need to change who you talk to.
Guy Reams (04:33.315)
Joining groups or participating in social activities with people who share your same interests can also seriously help you. You might want to acknowledge this feeling and share your experience with loved ones. They may be completely unaware of your situation. Basic self-care, such as improving your diet, resting without guilt, tidying up your environment, meditating, or taking long walks, these things also can help. Speaking with a professional might be another effective option.
After reflecting on this topic, I've realized that I've experienced loneliness several times without fully understanding what I was feeling. Recognizing emotions for what they truly are and addressing them directly I think is very helpful. Loneliness is not something to be taken lightly. It should be confronted as soon as you recognize that you experiencing it.