Guy Reams (00:01.678)
This is day 174. Sometimes you have to ask.
One of the hardest lessons I've learned in my life is that sometimes to get what you want, you have to ask. Rarely does someone just show up and randomly offer you a boon. More often, you need to ask for it. And only then will the other person consider whether they're willing to grant it or not. This is a powerful lesson and one I believe should be taught to children early in their development.
Unfortunately, I was raised and consequently I raised my children with the mindset of fake it until you make it. Meaning, never let anyone see your weakness. Never let on that you don't know something. Instead, figure it out on your own and be extra prepared for everything that you do. Now this isn't all bad. Kids raised with this mentality tend to be self-starters, highly motivated.
and usually carry a strong sense of confidence, or at least a deep belief that they can figure anything out. But this belief that you can figure everything out shouldn't replace the idea that you should be humble enough to ask for help. I've missed countless opportunities for learning, growth, and improving my own circumstance simply because I didn't ask. I didn't want anyone to know that I needed help.
I wanted to be perceived as the best at everything. Little did I know, I was playing the part of the fool, and everyone around me knew it, while I remained blind to my own comedy act. Taking this idea a little further, my first two kids would fill out their letters to Santa rather sheepishly. They timidly asked for what they really wanted, and then add a few other small things.
Guy Reams (02:04.097)
Occasionally, they'd include a request for something else, maybe trying to include a request for someone else, maybe trying to show a little empathy, or maybe strategically thinking, if I act like I care for others, Santa might give me more. Honestly, I can't blame them for that. I think I do the same thing in my own prayers. One of the many character flaws that I probably still need to work on. But then came our third child.
She had no such hesitations. She took her Christmas list very seriously, like a business proposal. She researched, did a cost-benefit analysis, and elevated her requests. She didn't just ask for makeup, for example. She asked for a refrigerator to keep the makeup in. She wanted inventory so she could launch a business. She included stationery and other potential marketing materials in her request.
She was asking for seed money, basically.
I remember asking her about her list one day, which by then had grown to six or seven pages. Do you really think you're going to get all that? Her response to me, can't hurt to ask. That response sums up the difference between those who make great gains and those who struggle. I would never have thought to ask for the world, much less prioritize my list to help the potential buyer.
Santa does have a purchasing team, right? I would have thought long and hard about my request, but I wouldn't want to reveal too much of myself in the request. So I'd ask for something simple, something that might make me look good, like a bike to get to school, or new clothes, for example. But not my daughter. She asked for the world and waited to see what would shake loose.
Guy Reams (04:00.952)
Now let's take this idea a little higher. What if there is a God? And what if that God will grant some boons only if you ask for them?
Just so you don't have to, I already asked for a Rolls Royce La Rose Noire Drop Tail in that really cool black Baccarat Rose color, but I still have a Ford Expedition in the driveway, so I guess that request didn't quite qualify. But what if there are certain gifts that would align with God's design and purpose and fulfill your deepest desires? And those are just sitting there waiting for you to simply ask.
I think that's a thought worth pondering. This is a mentality, I think. A way of approaching your path in the world that's quite foreign to me. Instead of walking through life with imposter syndrome, maybe we ought to move forward with humility and curiosity. That way we stay open, available for advice, mentorship, gifts, and perhaps even manna from heaven, or whatever other divine boon you might be pursuing.
Because maybe, just maybe, my daughter is right. It can't hurt to ask.