Guy Reams (00:01.689)
This is day 329, staring down Kerberos. Over the years, I've reflected a great deal on the concept of commitment. In essence, a commitment is far more meaningful than a promise, a contract, or even something more nebulous like faith or hope. Commitment feels like a pledge with consequence. I've come to view a commitment as the top line of an, of a if-then statement.
If you are not in the soft world, here's a quick primer. If-then logic is the first real algorithm that you learn in Computer Science 101. Every programming language must include this basic construct. If a condition is true, then something needs to happen. From this idea flows most logic in software design. So when I refer to an if-then logic, I mean precisely this. If my end of a commitment is true, then what follows?
This is the ultimate differentiator between a commitment and another faint gesture of willingness to do something. When you make a commitment, you imply that you will keep your end of the bargain with an important qualifier. You may expect a return, but if not, you will keep the commitment anyway. This is what it truly means to be all in. You are at the poker table, shoving all the chips in, come what may.
This is commitment. I'm going to do my part based on a promise of something in return and no matter what, even if the promise becomes vague and less defined as it ages, I'm still going to show up. I'm still going to do it no matter how my feelings on the matter might change. My marriage to my wife is one of these, a commitment of the highest order. I did not take this lightly when I was a young man. I took it seriously.
And that is exactly what I signed up for. It is a commitment to fulfill my end of the bargain, regardless of any other consideration. In fact, there is no other consideration. There is only me. Day in and day out, night after night, struggle upon struggle, laugh after laugh, joy upon joy, tears and more tears. The commitment means that I show up. While when all else fails, I will be there. That is commitment.
Guy Reams (02:27.212)
Luckily for me, my wife feels the same way. Commitment means that I am here. You will not get rid of me. You will not see me fail. Or if you do, it will be as you stand over my body at the hospital just before they pull the plug. When I say I'm going to lose some weight this year, what is that? Is that a commitment? No. That is a vague promise to myself that is broken on my next trip to the refrigerator. A commitment to lose weight this year is on a whole different level.
The commitment means that I am out the door already, running down the street and suffering through the stitch in my side. I'm eating the spinach and roasted chicken from last night instead of grabbing a quick pastry. And I'm doing that every day, no matter how much my silly little whiny brain wants to complain about it. Every morning I am up. I am working. I am lifting. I am running. I am pushing. I am vomiting in the gutter.
I'm signing up for that race, then showing up on the day of flabbiness and all. I show up every day. I embrace the suck. I do it. Even if I do not see progress for weeks, I do it anyway, because I'm going to keep up my end of the bargain, regardless of anything else that happens in my life. In a phrase, commitment is every day. Commitment is right now. Commitment is do it anyway.
Commitment is in the office, late, by herself, struggling, crying, facing the challenge. Commitment is staring curborous in his three snarling fierce faces and saying, I laugh at your feeble attempt to stand in my way. I fully intend to walk through the gates of Hades, run through all your levels of hell and come out the other side victorious. Just try to stop me.